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Satire  Published 10/31/17 3:21am

​Genius: Engineering Student Develops Pumpkin Spice Juul Flavor

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Photo from: Pixabay / CC0


Among college age students, the Juul economy has soared in recent years. Nearly every student either has or has been annoyed by these digital age cigarettes. Sophomore Bernard Rebholz (E ’20) is no stranger to fat clouds, but only recently has he been acquainted with fat stacks.

Since junior year of high school, whenever Rebholz had a pencil in his hand, he had a Juul in his mouth. He attributes this study habit not to nicotine addiction, but to “olfactory conditioning” that helps him optimize information recall time. After all, Juuls are practically brain food.

In the midst of an intense midnight coding session, right when Rebholz was about to hit a breakthrough, he felt himself take a dry hit. The project was due at 9 am the next morning, and every vape shop in University City was closed for the night. So, being the Penngineer he is, Rebholz decided to refill the pod with his left out PSL from the day before. Caffeine and nicotine are basically the same, right?

After a quick sprint to the CVS on 34th street, he picked up some nicotine lozenges for an extra kick. He dissolved them into the drink, then added more chemicals to make the mixture a bit more basic, providing a softer mouth feel.

Other students caught whiff of the trend after he set up his vending booth on Locust Walk. To attract these customers, he showed off his dope vape tricks with the new flavor and even blasted obscure indie music to give an authentic Starbucks feel.

His friends have been calling Rebholz a “P-S-Sellout” due to the high prices he is charging for his Juul pods, but Wharton101 has now included a case study of his business to its curriculum.

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