jeffstatecollege / Public Domain
The students in the Thursday morning recitation of HIST209: Wars and Their Outcomes are known for their intense debates and insightful commentary. This week, however, one student stood out among the rest.
When the group started talking about the mass removal of native peoples in the Bradlaw Expedition of 1722, Charles Pollack (C ’18) was courageous enough to raise his hand and say what none of his peers had the balls to comment on.
“Many of you feel like this war was detrimental to the indigenous populations and an overall failure. To play devil’s advocate, I think it was actually pretty good for all involved,” orated Pollack with tremendous grace and eloquence.
All 12 students and the TA in the room gasped, amazed by Pollack’s heroism for daring to play devil’s advocate.
“Actually, I felt like his comments were pretty insensitive and inaccurate,” said Junior Krista Williams. “I let out an audible gasp because I was so taken aback by his idiocy.”
Pollack went on to raise his hand after every student made a comment to the class and valiantly oppose each of their viewpoints.
“At one point, I just asked if I could use the restroom and Charles yelled out ‘Actually, to play devil’s advocate, I think you mean may I use the restroom’. He’s so annoying!” said classmate Sally Robins.
By the end of recitation, Pollack was dominating the discussion and nobly contradicting every statement anyone else made.
“I mean, someone has to get the facts straight,” yelled the class hero over a mob of angry students. “Besides, participation counts for like 25% of your grade in this class and I really need an A.”