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Satire  Published 09/14/17 11:41am

Penn Engineering Creates Restaurant Week Time Machine, Exclusively for Zahav Reservations

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Cindy Chen/The Daily Pennsylvanian, scardeykat


Craving a cultural dining experience outside of Meatless Mondays at Commons, but chose to spend late July not trolling Open Table for a dinner reservation? Didn’t have an idea it was Restaurant Week until six of your Snapchat friends added Stories documenting every course at the same restaurant?

Have no fear! Penn Engineering just released their latest project a few days ago. They’ve actually been publicly working on it for quite some time now, but the Engineering Quad is really far away.

The Restaurant Week Time Machine Model Z allows poor planners and procrastinators alike to go back in time three months—to the date, of course—to book reservations to Zahav, the restaurant introducing Philly to the other wonders of Israel besides that cute Econ TA.

The machine includes various settings to choose from, including attractiveness of your waiter, level of acoustics for the bizarrely catchy playlist, and distance from the bathroom.

When asked why the machine only makes reservations for Zahav instead of other restaurants, the project lead simply responded with, “hummus,” which is honestly really fair.

Enjoy your meal this week, and don’t forget to remind your friends back home how much you love exploring the restaurant scene in Philadelphia!

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