Satire  Published 09/27/17 1:16am

Intellectual Property Lawyer Slams New York Times for Stealing Tabard Logo


Photo by New York Times / CC 3.0 (edited)

In a decisive victory on Tuesday night, Tabard's intellectual property lawyer, Robert Pear, successfully forced The New York Times to pay $1 billion in fees as a reparations for stealing the Tabard logo.

The similarity between the logos of The New York Times and Tabard had formerly fueled a long game of legal cat and mouse--which ended in a decisive victory on Tuesday.  This similarity made the case confusing at times, as it was sometimes difficult for the jury to discern which entity Pear was referring to. "Both have strong ties to New York and the elite international scene," one juror remarked.  "Both have ties to the Bidens that they try to be low-key about," another added.  

Despite this confusion, Pear, a top IP lawyer, was able to wield his polished rhetorical skills to win over the jury on Tuesday night.  Tabard's dues covered Pear's sky-high fees; in contrast, the New York Times financial situation barred them from being able to afford a comparable defense lawyer.  

Though the court decision itself was decisive, the ruling has sparked public controversy. Some argue against the ruling, saying that the logo should technically be the property of the Times because Tabard came into existence well over 150 years after the Times did.  Pear's masterful response: The New York Times totally should have had the foresight to predict Tabard's creation all those years later!  Case closed.

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