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Satire  Published 09/20/17 6:12pm

Club Members Excited to See Each Other for First Time Since Last September

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Photo: The Daily Pennsylvanian


It’s going to be an exciting week for the members of one of Penn’s most prominent clubs.

Sources confirmed that the members of this club - whose name has remained hidden for anonymity purposes - are expected to have their highly-anticipated annual GBM some time this week.

“The last GBM was a blast,” said Edward Lin, President of this renowned club. “We talked about our recruitment plans, we added 12 new subcommittees to our 18 existing committees, and some of us even got to actually talk to one another and meet. Oh and Obama was still president, so that was cool.”

The club is famous for requiring a high commitment for all of its members, and that reflects in its competitive application process. “We need to know that our members can reliably show up to our GBM and read our listserv. That’s why we have 4 rounds of interviews, to weed out all of the applicants who can’t meet these highly demanding commitments.”

While the club has not met for the past year, they all insist that they are still a tight-knit community. “I’m especially pumped to see Jeffery again,” said Lin. “Or was it James. Maybe George. I don’t know, there was one guy who seemed chill. Yeah.”

Club member Jerry Taylor is attending the GBM in hopes of securing a coveted leadership position. “I have been so committed to this club,” Taylor exclaimed. “I showed up to the GBM last year, and even our TWO GBMs the year before! That’s more than enough qualification to be at least the VP-External of any club, right?”

Anyone interested in joining this club or other prestigious clubs like it can feel free to walk into any Huntsman classroom around 7pm on a Wednesday and casually act like you belong there.

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