Satire  Published 08/01/17 5:50pm

Forgetting How Terrible School Is, Students Appear Excited for Semester to Start


/ Public Domain

It's August, people. NSO is weeks away. Midterms are next month. After a quick glance through Penn's meme group, you'd think that everyone would be dreading returning to school. But instead, you see your friend's grand-cousin-twice-removed comment "can't wait to get MERTed again soon!!" on instagram. It seems that for some reason, people might be looking forward to the fall semester.

After some thorough investigation, rising sophomore Olivia Liu explained it best: "I just miss all of my friends so much! It almost makes me forget about the crippling workload and lack of free time I have during the school year."

But there was more than one reason why students were excited to return to Penn:

  • "I've kinda been craving a sushi bowl for a while, to be honest."
  • "I love bankers club vodka and also the song Mr. Brightside."
  • "I've been living in New York and I've already seen Amy Gutmann, like, 13 times. I'm tired of seeing her so often!"
  • "I can't wait to reject hundreds of freshmen who are applying for my social clubs."
  • "I hate my internship. My coworkers are monsters. Please get me out of here."

Hope you're HAGS right now!

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