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Satire  Published 07/24/17 5:23pm

Student Repeatedly Lowers Expectations for Summer Goals

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Photo by TeroVesalainen / CC0


Sandra Davis (C '19) started off the summer strong. In May, she'd assembled a list of seven "realistic, totally actionable goals" that would allow her to rejuvenate her mind and body and get ahead for the next school year. The list was as follows:

  1. Organize all the files on her computer ("There are four different folders labeled 'Documents' on my computer," said Davis.)
  2. Figure out what personal finance is ("I thought an IRA and the IRS were the same thing.")
  3. Read one or two books per month ("Yeah, I haven't completed an assigned reading in three years") 
  4. Go to the gym every weekday before work, plus Saturday ("Sunday is a day of rest.")
  5. Start a hip blog, and blog at least twice a week ("Really excited! I just need to pick a topic to blog about!")
  6. Finally decide on a class schedule for next semester, then start studying for those classes ("I'm totally going to get ahead so I don't have to stress out when the semester begins!")
  7. Begin researching internships for summer 2018 ("It's never to early to see what they're looking for, right?")

However, by mid-June, Davis found herself failing to fulfill most of the goals. Always a pragmatic, flexible individual, she made the wise decision to revise her list to the following:

  1. Organize her desktop by sorting by "Date Added"
  2. Ask her dad some vague questions about managing her personal finances so he could see that she was at least thinking about it
  3. Read maybe two books over the course of the summer
  4. Work out once a week
  5. Make a Twitter account instead of a blog, and tweet when she had time
  6. Pick one class that fulfills a foundational requirement
  7. Open a lot of tabs about internships, become disheartened that her resume isn't up to par, and therapeutically close each tab one at a time instead of just closing the entire window

But at this point in July, Davis has all but given up on her original list. Still, she clings to having some kind of summer goals list to fulfill, much like a baby koala clings to its mother but in a not as cute way. Her final list:

  1. Rename her four Documents folders "Documents1," "Documents2," etc.
  2. Find out her credit score
  3. Finish one chapter of that book her coworker recommended three weeks ago
  4. Walk briskly to work so it can count as exercise
  5. Read tweets
  6. Decide on at least one class to definitely not take
  7. Think of a goals list for next summer, when she'd definitely have an awesome internship

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