Satire  Published 07/25/17 4:18pm

Senior Changes Major to Avoid Friday Classes


Artist's rendering of Laureline Kin celebrating her freedom on a Friday / Public Domain

Laureline Kin had class on Fridays, in her spring semester of freshman year and in her fall semester of sophomore year. That year, she says, was the hardest year of her life. 

In the tail end of this spring and in the beginning of this summer, a difficult decision hung over the College senior's head. In order to complete her major, she would need to have hours worth of class every Friday. Her alternative was to drop the major, but keep the free Fridays. In the end, she opted for the latter.

"Of course it was a tough decision," she told us. "Each option involved a serious sacrifice. I had to pick between pursuing the career and future I'd always wanted, and having three-day weekends. It was hard, but this was the only choice I could have made."

Kin switched from a major in biochemistry (36 credits required to graduate) to a major in communications (3.6 credits required to graduate). She said her parents weren't particularly happy, but that they're going through a divorce so this wasn't the biggest thing on their plate. "My dad has a girlfriend my age," she said. "So neither one of my parents is willing to risk straining our relationship." Perfect timing!

The move has big implications for Kin's future, seeing as she will not complete her pre-med track and therefore become a hematologist, but it also has big implications for her weekends. 

"This way, I can stay out on Thursdays as late as I want, and not have to worry about being hungover in recitation the next day. It also maintains the three day weekends, which allow me to have three brunches per week. Three brunches per week is a really fantastic brunch ratio, and a lot of friends from my sorority have told me how good of a decision I made," Kin declared. "I will never regret this."

"I guess I'm not going to be a doctor anymore, because I can't go to medical school and stuff. But I can spend more time at the Farmacy, which is not that far off."

Sources say that Kin was considering dropping out of school before her senior year so she could have seven day weekends each week, but worried that doing so would force her to remove "Penn '17" from her Instagram and Tinder bios.

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