About

Satire  Published 07/26/17 6:00pm

Rising Junior on Track to Watch 800 Hours of TV this Summer

woman391555_960_720

/ Public Domain


While scrolling through Grace Heron’s (C ’19) Instagram, you'd think she's a living Vogue spread. From chill photos at her vague part-time internship at an art gallery, to oh-so-fun shots of her in couture in an alley any adult would tell you to stay the hell away from, Heron seems to be living the photogenic summer most can only dream about.

But what goes on between those glamorous snapshots? Brunch with Bella Hadid? Drinks at a bar that’s so exclusive even Malia Obama can’t get in?

This is the kind of investigative journalism UTB lives for, so we did what any Pulitzer winning journalist would do... we slid into Heron’s DMs.

We asked Heron what she has been up to this summer, and were surprised by her response. We found out there was no brunch, no fancy cocktails, not even a mimosa made from orange juice, vodka, and seltzer water. She simply replied, “Mainly, I've been watching TV.”

 Heron gave us almost too elaborate a breakdown.

“I usually start with about three hours of Say Yes to the Dress; yeah, the dresses are hideous but I can’t stop watching. Then, I watch about four hours of Criminal Minds because Shemar Moore is a hottie. After lunch I’ll watch something educational. Maybe a little Jane the Virgin so I can practice my Spanish. Then, I end the night by watching Harry Potter movies. Right now I'm thrilled because Game of Thrones is finally back. Hodor, am I right? And it's perfect timing, because the Bachelorette is about to end.”

Before we had a chance to ask any more questions about how she makes time for this much television, Heron had to dash: she wasn't going to be late for her date with Netflix.

All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.