Satire  Published 07/17/17 7:09pm

Panicking Junior Still Has No Idea What She Wants to Do in Life


Photo by CollegeDegrees360 / CC by-sa 2.0

Even though Kayla Burns (C '19) is already halfway through college, she has no idea what she plans to do once she graduates. And she's panicking.

"Everyone just said to study what I was interested in. So I followed my passions: I'm triple majoring in Biophysics, PPE, and German," Burns told us. "What am I supposed to do with that?"

Burns does have a job, however, working as a Summer Analyst. Apparently, she doesn't actually know what a Summer Analyst does, just that's she works 60 hours a week and makes $2 above minimum wage.

"Look, when I was a freshman, everyone said it was okay to not know what I wanted to do yet, and that I would figure it out later. Well, it is later, and I still have no fucking clue what I want to do," she said. "My pre-major advisor didn't prepare me for this!"

Burns is currently contemplating going to graduate school, so that she doesn't have to pick a career path just yet. Now, all she has to do is decide what she will study.

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