About

Under The Button, Penn's humor and satire blog.

Penn, unbuttoned.

Satire  Published 04/19/17 3:10pm

Management 100 Student Sells Fling Wristbands For Profit


Eventbrite

Sophomore Coleman Terry, who recently transferred from the College of Arts and Sciences to Wharton, wanted to do something creative for his Management 100 project this semester. 

“As much as I would like to work for the American Red Cross and create a fire safety program for children, I simply don’t have the altruistic capacity to actually do it. I want to do something ruthless and cutthroat, so I can be prepared for my job in the real world.”

With Fling around the corner, Terry had an idea for his independent Management 100 project: team up with fraternities across campus to sell Fling event wristbands to students for a 100% increased profit. 

“Lake Party, Phi Sig Festival, Italian BBQ, you name it and I have tickets for it. I hijacked the 3rd floor computer lab of Huntsman and hired 72 freshmen to man the computers and buy tickets on Eventbrite as soon as they drop,” explained Terry.

The results have been astounding. Terry has sold 2,500 Lake Party tickets originally priced at $50 for $350, resulting in a 600% increased profit. Terry gives back 1% of this money to the frats hosting the events, leaving him with $75,000. 

When asked what he will do with the money, Terry replied, “I could use it to pay for a year at Penn, or maybe buy 25,000 Lyns sandwiches. I haven’t decided yet.”

Terry claims the project wasn’t always smooth sailing. At the last minute, the photographer for Cruise Ship Brunch backed out. Students felt that without photos of themselves on Facebook, there would be no added benefit to their social capital for going to the event, and demand for wristbands plummeted. 

“My team and I promised to pass out Snapchat glasses at Cruise Ship Brunch and demand increased again. As long as there is photographic evidence on any social media that people were at the event, I will still make a profit.”

Terry says he's hoping to end the semester with an A in MGMT 100.

All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.