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Satire  Published 04/13/17 11:31am

If the Last Supper Was a BYO

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Pixabay/ Public Domain


For many, this weekend will bring the last round of BYOs before Spring Fling begins.  With all this talk of lasts, we can't help but wonder: if the Last Supper was a BYO, what would it have been like?

Instead of taking place in the The Room of the Last Supper on Mount Zion, the dinner would surely be held in The Room That is Way Too Small for 50 People at Ken's Seafood.  The meal would begin with the leader of (insert name of Penn a cappella group) harmonizing with his fellow group members before singing an invocation to the a cappella gods. No instruments would be involved, of course. 

The musical director, a stand-in for Jesus himself, would hand the small colorful plastic cups to all in attendance, saying "this is my body a boat race" each time he hands out a cup.  He would then pass around a box of Franzia, singing "this is the wine of the everlasting hangover, which is poured for many."

During the meal, the director would predict his betrayal by one of the "a capostles" present. He would foretell that this member would deny that he is the best tenor three times before the next morning. The rest has already been sung. 

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