Satire  Published 04/20/17 1:36pm

How To Get Into Fling Events For Free Without Really Trying


Credit: File Photo / The Daily Pennsylvanian

Hey, are you a student who wants to go to fun Fling events but missed the Eventbrite link to buy semi-reasonably priced tickets because you have real things to do but now can't afford or feel morally opposed to spending upwards of $100 on wristbands from Sneks trying to make a profit?  Does this sound like you? Welcome to under the button dot com's fool proof plan for sneaking into overrated frat parties Fun Fling Events™:

  1. Get to the event at 6 AM and wait it out: Some of you underaged readers might have used this one at Smokes to avoid being carded. The same rules apply here. Show up to 4k4 before anyone has woken up. Wear all black for a dramatic, robber-like effect and also to seem sceney. Find a nice grassy area and stake out. Bring a picnic blanket. Hell, bring some champagne and cut up fruit. Live a little. You’ll be there for a while. 
  2. Tell the bouncers you write for The Odyssey Online and make them read one of your articles: They will let you in out of pity or fear that you will make them read more of your bad writing.
  3. Dress up like a girl and bring girls: They will let you in.
  4. Don’t go: You have exams next week. Like, a lot of them. Go home and study dude. 

There they are. Your only four options for enjoying Fling. You’re welcome!

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