Free Cone Day: A Second Person Perspective

So it’s 12:00 pm and you’re trying to get a snack before your Geology lecture (I know, aren’t sector requirements the worst?). You don't know where to go, so you start walking from Walnut down 40th street. But there's a line that goes from Harvest all the way up the block.

You’re confused. Is Smoke’s that hard to get into tonight?

But then you remember that it’s actually noon-- your underage classmate won’t be at the door checking your PennCard and taking your hard-earned cash until later in the evening.

So are all these people staging a sit-in until Harvest re-opens? No, you remember that no one really cares about that.

What could it be? You wander up the block and that’s when you see it: Ben and Jerry’s.

Someone at the front of the line shouts at you: "If you want a free cone, you have to wait your turn!"

You’re confused again. Why are all these people waiting for a free cone!? Are free Cone cells-- the photoreceptor cells in the retina of mammalian eyes-- being given away? Or are people in line trying to collect pyrometric cones, devices used to gauge headwork during the firing of ceramic materials? Your mind is racing. Traffic cones? Cone shells? Pine cones? Conical mountains?

Wait, this is Ben and Jerry's. It's probably an ice cream cone. So is it a sugar cone? No, people are inherently stingy so there's no way that they’re giving out sugar cones. It has to be one of those disgusting cake cones that are always stale. Plus, who wants just a cone from B&J? Where's the ice cream???

Now your head is spinning. You need a fresh mind for Geology class. You ditch the line, head to HipCityVeg, and cough up $7 for a banana whip.