Wow! Junior Attends Rumor for the First Time and is Moderately Impressed

College Junior Kyra Nelson did what she'd been wanting to do for two and a half years: go to a downtown at Rumor. She prepared herself as well as she could: she tried to look cute, but not too cute, cause everyone knows cool people don't try hard to stand out. "A skirt, a chiffon top, and flatform sneakers scream 'I'm excited for this, but I know how to keep myself together,'" she said. Nelson's friends told her, "You know, Rumor is really overrated anyway." "Yeah, yeah, totally, I know that," she replied.

Nelson entered Rumor with a mixture of expectations. "The girls working coat check are like really really hot, and they're wearing leotards for absolutely no reason. They must be cold? How odd!" She thought.

Overall, it was a splendid night. "I didn't care about all the sweaty backs I touched, or the fact that I couldn't hold a conversation with anyone. I mean, yeah, a watered-down rum and coke is $10, but the pretty pink lights made up for it!" Nelson said. She left still sober, with 30 dollars gone from her bank account, and a realization that she doesn't have any hip friends and is really a 90 year old grandma trapped in a college student's body. But it didn't matter! She got a kick ass picture out of it.