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Satire  Published 02/24/17 4:22pm

Junior Returns to Soul-Draining Internship From Previous Summer

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Photo: Oriez / Wikimedia Commons


Last year, Samuel Chen (W'18) was one of the lucky rising juniors to score a summer analyst internship at Goldman Sachs. Despite having a completely unfulfilling experience at his internship, he plans to return to Goldman this summer and, indeed, to work at the firm after graduation.

Chen described his work at Goldman as tedious and uninteresting. "Most of my responsibilities were fixing Excel spreadsheets and making presentations," he lamented. He regaled us with tales of late nights doing meaningless work, a frustrating boss, and a growing inability to speak to anyone who makes less than six figures a year.

"Even though I learned nothing worthwhile and hated it, I'm really excited to be going back this summer!" Chen insisted, flashing us his bright, LinkedIn profile picture-worthy smile. It took him several minutes of deep thought, but he was eventually able to cite some perks of the internship: networking, building his resume, and most importantly, taking photos in NYC to create a fire Instagram feed.

When questioned about why he would return to a company he didn't enjoy, Chen laughed nervously. "Well, it's a very prestigious internship with good wages, not that I need them... I consider myself very fortunate to have been invited back. I think it'll help me in the future, once I'm pursuing my bigger dreams." 

We asked Chen about his future aspirations and didn't quite catch his response, as it was mostly unintelligible. Still, we are fairly sure it involved emphatic hand gestures and the phrases "making a difference", "building something real", and "maybe just consulting". He concluded, "At least I'm not that guy who didn't even get the top internship in my field."

"I don't plan on staying in finance forever," Chen said confidently. "But in the mean time, Goldman means I'm better than everyone else."

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