Please Allow Guns on Campus So We Can Shoot Grizzly Bears

This is an official request for permission to carry and use firearms on campus to prevent grizzly bear-related injury or death. We are not sure who is in charge of setting campus firearm policies, but we trust that the proper officials will read this. Please, allow us to defend ourselves against all the grizzly bears we see each day, roaming Locust or hibernating in GSRs. Thank you Betsy DeVos for championing this cause and helping us make Penn a safer place.