To follow up on our bathroom coverage, two UTB staffers are here to discuss urinals.
Rebecca Tan and Meredith Mitchell: We both saw a urinal once after accidentally going into a men’s restroom so we’re quite literally experts on the subject. If you disagree, you are sexist.
MM: I dream of living in a world where men, women, and people who identify outside the gender binary use the same toilet. Urinals are only for guys, and frankly are a sign of excluding women/gender-queer from the bathroom sector.
RT: OK but honestly a female bathroom is a safe space. We don’t want men in here. Here’s where we plan our futures without being interrupted by mansplainers. When dudes pee, they make the loudest waterfall-y sound that SILENCES us.
MM: #Thisis2016 our safe spaces need to be gender neutral. How can we expect to have equality when something as basic as peeing has become an issue of gender? #Freethepee
RT: In my interview with a Man, he said a urinal is “hard to miss” but a toilet bowl requires “some aiming.” He added that it’s “very tiring” to take off his “whole entire pair of pants” to sit down and pee. Men are weak - they need all the help they can get in this world.
MM: Urinals promote male competition. How can you pee in peace if you are comparing penises?
RT: In my interview with another Man, he assured me that men actively avoid penis-gazing when peeing into open urinals. I am, however, doubtful.
CONCLUSION: We know you all look. We’re pretty sure.