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F*CK IT FEBRUARY, Vol. 2

February is upon us folks, and with that, we've decided to bring back our most optimistic feature! If you, like us, are out of fucks to give, then continue reading. And if you're not, well then, do less. 

  • Your bed is full of crumbs from eating pita chips (without hummus), but you're really tired. Fuck it.
  • Instead of taking out the trash, you just order a second trash can on Amazon. Fuck it. 
  • You go to Pottruck but then just quit after you've climbed two flights of stairs. Fuck it. 
  • Wear shorts and a t-shirt outside because the weather is 20° higher than normal, but still 45°. Fuck it. 
  • Wait in the FroGro line for 45 minutes because you have nothing else to do. Fuck it. 
  • Your laundry pile is five feet tall. Fuck it. 
  • Wear a Penn sweater you bought at the bookstore freshman year for three days in a row. Fuck it.
  • Knew there was E. Coli in your Chipotle bowl. Still ate it. Fuck it.
  • $3 for an extra beet at Sweetgreen. Fuck it.
  • Sat alone at the Harvest bar on a Tuesday night. Fuck it.
  • Call your professor out for wearing a toupee. Fuck it.
  • Wait an hour for Caitlyn tickets even though you're really just hoping Kylie will show up. Fuck it. 
  • Made Valentine's Day plans with the girl you're seeing at Commons because everywhere else is too expensive. Fuck it.
  • Started listening to Iggy Azalea again. Fuck it. 
  • Spend all your time creating an elaborate Pinterest board for your post-grad NYC apartment. Fuck it. 
  • Get sick of your dorm and move into the Inn at Penn. Fuck it. 
  • Stop shaving because that rando will hook up with you anyway. Fuck it. 
  • Get a French bulldog because people are annoying. Fuck it. 
  • It's February and you still haven't finished your Christmas shopping. Fuck it.
  • All you want to talk about this The Bachelor. Fuck it. 
  • You have 3-hour blocks twice a week with a kid you used to hook up with, so you switch majors. Fuck it. 
  • Everyone around you in Starbucks is interviewing for internships while you're struggling to comprehend the physics of eating a cake pop. Fuck it. 
  • You're not allowed to eat your sandwich in class, so you just get up to leave and eat it in peace. Fuck it. 
  • Housing. Fuck it. 
  • You want to take a nap at home, but it's raining, so you sleep in Joe's Cafe. Fuck it.
  • Ate a loaf of potato bread. Fuck it. 
  • Light went out in your bathroom so now you just shower in the dark (Ed. Note: At least you're showering...). Fuck it. 
  • You have a fever but you're forced to go to your bid party anyway. Fuck it. 
  • Call your professor "mom." Fuck it. 
  • Eat a Luna bar and chips for dinner. Fuck it. 
  • Accidentally tip the delivery guy $20. Fuck it. 
  • You dropped a class but the one you want to take is full. You decide not to fulfill History and Traditions. Fuck it. 
  • You plan to just watch the pilot of Making A Murderer. Watch the whole series. Fuck it. 
  • Have first class of the day at 2 p.m. Don't get out of bed until 1:45. Fuck it. 
  • Fail the midterm. Decide to make money by marketing yourself as the "curve helper." Fuck it. 
  • Realize this year is a leap year. Pretend February 29th is March 1st. Fuck it. 

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