Disappointing Pledge Class? Here Are 20 Ways To Get More Pledges!
February 2, 2016 at 2:00 pm
Mayday, mayday! Word
on the street is that a number of Penn’s most prestigious student
groups – fraternities and sororities – have had somewhat disappointing numbers for their pledge classes
this semester. We get it: competition is fierce, but maybe you should’ve had
free Chipotle at your first rush event instead of Qdoba. Have
no fear, though. UTB is here to help you out. Here are 20 ways to get more totally
awesome pledges for your #PC16:
- Start recruiting Class of 2020 ED admits
- Steal pledges from Drexel
- Pray
- Engage in cult-like rituals to encourage loyal membership
- Exaggerate alumni accomplishments
- Bribe mature looking high schoolers with the promise of fake IDs
- Encourage members to have children; recruit said children
- Adopt teens, then haze them
- Have Shabbat dinners
- Advertise on Craigslist
- Have a GBM!
- Flyer on Locust
- Get more frat dogs. Better yet, get more exotic frat pets, like a monkey in a bowtie!
- Clone existing brothers/sisters
- Allow people to pledge for credit
- Offer in-frat internships
- Write an op-ed in the DP
- Buy an ad in the DP
- Kidnap ill-fitting Thetas
- Don’t be Pike...or Theos
Best of luck, no one!