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Random Dude At A Party, Vol. 13


Read about more past Random Dudes hereherehereherehereherehereherehereherehere, and here

This week’s RDAP gives us her thoughts on Beyonce’s family, the complexities of the relationship between the US and Cuba, and the best place to poop on campus.


If Beyonce had another child, what would you name it?

Can we really top Blue Ivy though? Can we call it Blue Ivy 2? No, no, no. I feel like she would name it Matias because she’s had a very contentious relationship with her father and her father’s name is Matthew so I feel that’s like a fuck you, like fuck you I’m going to name it a classier Matthew Knowles, I’m going to name him Matias Knowles. Matias like Turquoise or like Cyan Knowles.


Best place to poop on campus?

Huntsman because fuck Wharton. I always take a shit on the first floor past the cafe, it’s a really nice bathroom. I always do my dirtiest work in Huntsman.


If you had a million dollars right now, what would you spend it on?

Probably I would say my education, but also I really want to go to Belize. Also you know if you have enough money, you can like invite a celebrity to come to your event or whatever. I would get Ryan Gosling but it would be like for my bachelorette party so it would be really uncomfortable because there would be like dicks and stuff and alcohol, and Ryan Gosling’s like what am I supposed to do here?


Thoughts on the socioeconomic implications of renewed diplomatic relations with Cuba?

I talked a lot of shit about this in my Spanish class. I’m worried that they’re going to bring a bunch of McDonalds over and shit and no. Cuba’s communism isn’t great and everything, but it’s also a weird dynamic when you’re trying to bring capitalism and trade and everything to a communist country. Fuck McDonalds. Oh my god last week though, I went to McDonalds three times in one night. So that’s a thing.


Are you ready for Waka Flocka to be the next POTUS?

You don’t know how much I want Waka Flocka Flame to be the next POTUS because someone told me his only point is to make weed legal. People enjoy the weed. Also there’s the video of Waka Flocka reading out comments and he called Susan Sus-an, and called her a man. I’m pretty sure that was a lady.  

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