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Random Dude At A Party, Vol. 5

St. Elmo, November 22

Q: If you could create your own drug, what would it be called?

A: It would be called.... Velveeta Lights.

Q: What was one of your intense childhood career aspirations?

A: Truthfully I wanted to be a jewel hunter. Like I didn't understand the concept of mining? So I just thought that people went around the world...finding jewels? So yeah... I wanted to be a jewel hunter. I like had a map from National Geographic where all the jewels were and me and Richard used to plot to go find the jewels. This is like accurate information.

Q: Have you seen Beyonce's new music video?

A: It was poppin. I wanted to be in that. No no, cuz it was just normal enough for me to squeeze my way right in. Like it wouldn't be odd if I was in that video acting wild. You know what, turn that shit on. 

Q: Complete this sentence: If pigs could fly...

A: I'd ride a pig to Taco Bell.

Q: What's the best decade and why?

A: 2000s cuz that's when Britney shaved her head.... No no no. 2000s is the best decade because that's when Britney wore an ALL DENIM DRESS to an award show. 

Q: What's your dream car?

A: Truthfully, a Prius because it has a poppin ass sound system. But like... if I was sober and didn't wanna seem lame I would have said a Pepto-Bismol-pink Mustang.

Q: What's the best early 2000s pop song?

A: "Barbie Girl" by Aqua. It makes me feel confident.

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