English Department Offers Course "Wasting Time On The Internet"

Professor Kenneth Goldsmith-- he's just like us! 

Whether you're the next big alt lit poet or a Wharton kid trying to boost her GPA after that disastrous MGMT 100 grade, consider signing up for Kenneth Goldsmith's "Wasting time on the Internet" class, because we know that's what you'll be doing in any lecture you'd take anyway. New York Magazine may make fun, but imagine the looks on your friends's faces as you scroll through your Twitter feed and watch cat videos for a grade--or better yet, imagine the looks on your parents's faces. 

This class is extremely practical and will get you many, many job offers from Goldman-Sachs, so make sure you add our other course recommendation to your mock schedule too. Plus, maybe if you go to Professor Goldsmith's office hours, he'll teach you how to pull off that flawlessly badass pink suit. The possibilities are innumerable-- just like the number hours you've spent watching Orange Is The New Black this semester when you know you have two essays due tomorrow. If you do end up in this gem of a class, we recommend wasting some time on UTB.