7 Penn Things That Can Use A Little More Autumnal Charm
October 9, 2014 at 5:28 pm
Happy Fall Break one and all! We know what you're thinking: uh, it doesn't even really feel like fall. Sure it's a little chillier but the trees are still mostly green. Where the heck is all that hot-cocoa-apple-cider-fall-fashion-crisp-morning-cinnamon-sweater-harvest-bounty aura??? We've thought of a few things on campus that could use a little more autumnal charm.
Ben Franklin Day after day, we walk past Benched Ben wondering if he ever gets chilly out there in the dipping temps. He could use a dazzling crimson (vermillion is fine too) scarf and a piping hot PSL, no? And with few choice leaves, he's ready to leave Locust Walk and strut the catwalk!
David Rittenhouse Laboratory Everyone's favorite refurbished prison faces the brisk wind like it faces the haters: barely. But with a little help from a knit scarf and some trendy gloves, li'l D can brave anything. Too bad it's an insentient building that'll be torn down soon. LOL!
The free condoms your GA sneakily put on the lounge table during NSO Add a little pumpkin spice and you've got something really nice. That's right, pumpkin spice condoms: putting the "um..." in autumn since 1890never.
Perelman Quadrangle How can such a big space be so lacking in autumn? There's only one solution: pumpkin patchify that shit. Um, and, also...why are we in denial about Ron Perelman's real last name?
Penn Museum Fill the fountain with PSL and serve with giant loaves of pumpkin bread. Serves four. LET'S DO AUTUMN RIGHT, PEOPLE!
The Button Make it a pie. It just seems so right, y'know? With like the shape and everything.
The High Rise Wind Tunnel Doesn't matter if you live in Hill, we've all been there: trudging the 90 mph winds that Locust generates between the High Rises. Penn is unique for having the only macroscale high-tech human popsicle generator in the nation. Installing a giant space heater would autumn things up a bit.
Thank you for indulging us on this goofy, poorly Photoshopped celestial latte of autumnal feeling.
@TimeToShineDonations, can we implement some of these now please?