We're sorry. We're sorry that break is over; we're sorry that there's a 70% chance of snow today; we're sorry that tomorrow you have an exam you haven't yet started studying for. Let the following list of events be our peace offering, and remember that better days are ahead of us.
Monday: NCAA Women's Basketball Selection Show Penn does sports! Let's show the rest of the league we have it in us to be legitimate fans.
Wednesday: PennSEM Presents: The Third Annual Social Impact Talks Get back into the swing of things by feigning interest in discussions about such topics as energy and entrepreneurship with Penn professors.
Also on Wednesday: IMPACT Magazine: Issue 2 Release Party Another event with the word "impact" in it taking place on the same day? WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?!
Now, on to the weekend. Warning: it's that time of the semester WHEN EVERY PERFORMING ARTS GROUP HAS A SHOW IN A SPAN OF THREE DAYS.
Thursday--Saturday: Penn Singers Light Opera Co. Presents "The Pirates of Penzance!" Start it off right with a show that we're sure to treasure.
Thursday -- Saturday: Stimulus Children's Theater Presents "The Pink Panther Strikes Again." Da doot da-doot, da-doot, da-doot da-doot da-doot da-doot da-daaaah, da-dada.
Thursday--Saturday: Bloomers Presents: Snowpocalypse Now! Baby It's A Cult Outside These snow puns do nothing but remind us there's still snow on the ground. Please no Frozen references, Bloomers--we don't think we could handle any more.
Thursday--Saturday: Strictly Funk Presents Clue: A Murder Mystery If anyone asks, IT WASN'T US.
Friday--Saturday: Disney A Capella Presents: Just Keep Singing! Remember what we said about Frozen, guys.
Saturday: Hot Hawaiian Night 2014: Penn Hawaii Club Lu'au Pretend it's still Spring Break with authentic Hawaiian food and dancing.
Sunday: Penn Irish/Penn Newman's St. Patrick's Day Ceili, 7:30 p.m. to 9 p.m., in Bodek Lounge Unlike the shenanigans sure to take place next weekend "in honor" of St. Fratty's Day, this culturally relevant event features Irish dancing, music, and food.
Also on Sunday: QPenn 2014: Qtopia Kick off this week-long celebration of LGBTQIA culture on campus with an art opening at the LGBT Center. We hear free food goes well with art, so as long as that's the case, we're there.