Features  Published 11/23/12 9:02am

So You Think You Can Thanksgiving


Oh, so you ate a bit of turkey, instagrammed a few pies, made a little awkward eye contact with your hot cousin, and now you think you did Thanksgiving hardcore? Ha, you're cute. How 'bout you compare your notes against our Official Thanksgiving Checklist (which may or may not also double as a retroactive drinking game) and see just how well you fared on the big day.

  • Sat at the kids table — extra shot of spiked cider if you're the oldest cousin
  • Came out as as humanities major — kamikaze shot if you also dropped Pre-Med
  • Were asked by your grandparents if they could set you up with their friends' landlord's son who's only 27 — shot for each additional degree of separation and a screwdriver if you said yes
  • Endured other people's "back in the day" college stories
  • Scheduled your evening hookup while sitting next to Nana
  • Played some sort of post-meal game with the family — extra shot if you cheated
  • Started eating leftovers within the same hour that dessert was cleared
  • Watched the last Twilight movie "as a joke"
  • Made separate appointments with each of your home friends — shot for each friend you didn't eventually bail on
  • Read the Dec./Jan. issue of Seventeen/male equivalent (Sports Illustrated for Kids?) that Mom keeps updating your subscription for
  • Got a haircut — get on one knee and chug that Smirnoff Ice if Mom scheduled it for you (be honest)
  • Did homework — treat yourself to a glass of 50-proof lamesauce


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