Are you a drummer? Do you like alcohol? Are you walking your dog right now? Did you vote today?* If so, look no further than these flyers posted all over Baltimore — that is, if you're under 40 (or at least look like it). Preston Hull has channeled its inner J-14 Magazine and published this complex flowchart for anyone interested in joining their band. It may not help you find out if that hottie from Econ is into you (looking at you, kid in front row with striking blue eyes and kippah), but at least you'll see if you have what it takes to ROCK.
*not actually listed as a requirement in the flowchart but like, duh