While this promise will probably be kept about as well as the time you swore off Greek Lady for a week, we want to believe you. And in the spirit of this uplifting trust,we bring you the third installment of this optimistic feature. (Parts 1 and 2 can also be found after the jump.) Update: All the links work properly now! Sorry for the confusion.
Another Ten Things Worse Than Finals
1. Being a caged monkey in a lab experiment.
2. Specifically, being this caged monkey on the left.
3. Failing to fully plug your headphones in while your computer blares the Rossman song you neglected to pause earlier.
4. Enduring a very wet kiss from an old female relative who you only kinda know and who just reapplied a thick layer of her long-lasting, cakey, communist-red lipstick.
5. Having an itch in the arch of your foot.
6. Being a green pig on Dr. Seuss’ farm or any level of Angry Birds.
7. Getting caught Facebook stalking all the pictures, up to 2006, of the person sitting directly behind you.
8. Being unable to flush your poop at someone else's house. (We've all evaded such a fate on numerous occasions, but be honest—you get nervous when you pull the handle every. single. time.)
10. And finally, all of these.