Fling may have died last weekend (and taken us down with it), but its spirit lives on in our pants. In our pant pockets. In our cell phones. Yup, the second annual Texts From Spring Fling is here, and it sounds like you crazy cats had a wonderful Fling– if we're to take these texts seriously (which we do).
Well, onwards and upwards! Let's read on and recount those few memories that didn't get flushed down a Quad toilet:
(301): What time is the party? I'm going to sneak out of the hospital.
(610): remember that time someone at allegros offered me a place to sleep because my roommate locked me out? yeah, me too.
(917): In line. So much love. Everyone join us. I can't see my phone.
(781): going home to take a dump. (310): no. (310): come to saia's (310): you will die
(203): Spotted: people studying in the library (203): I think you should round up a posse and give em whatsfor
(917): WAKE UP, BITCHES! (917): Wakey wakey! Time to fling! (917): Knock knock! Who'se there? FLING. FLING who? FLING wake the fuck up (917): WAKE UP! We have a very busy schedule today! [Ed. note: Hey, now.]
(203): Fuck you didn't get in shit ill come back out (610): Ok. Douschebag bros. Tellin us how to live life
(917): I don't know if I'm drunk or still rolling, but like, I'm discovering myself in the mirror & like, this is what I look like! It's scary! Why do I look like this?! (917): This is me! I look like that! I needa work with what I got, and it's that. In the mirror. Staring back at me.
(610): I'm going to cut her boobs off. (404): does she have any to begin with?
(917): We're at McDonalds (1-917): Bring that shit to my bed. I will give you 300 blow jobs
(908): Tell the bathrooms I'm cumming
(201): I'm in a movie in a movie within a mirror looking at a mirror which I deem infinity. Cause it never ends.
(817): The girls in my house banned me from texting any more animal noises #kittenprobz
(917): hey how r u? i hope ure good. lstn. i need help with my taxes. [Ed. note: May we refer you to Taxslayer.com?]
(202): Screw everyone. I want to shower in pellets of cashmere but water will have to suffice.
(301): Maybe it's electric momma. You know what the up.
(917): That time when I ate an entire thing of guar, cookie dough and blueberries at smokes, because why not…
(361): I'm owed a body shot. Funniest shit ever. I had to do it with post bacs. Bitches be dumb and old.
(917): Fling safe is great for heavily drinking!