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News  Published 08/29/11 2:49pm

Your Back-To-School College Rankings

Newsweek-College

Among the 25 super quirky, unconventional, avant-garde lists posted on The Daily Beast, Penn managed to nab a spot on five, despite being an unimpressive, low-tier institution. If scrolling through 25 lists isn't how you like to spend your Mondays, we've got your back. Here are the Penn highlights:

  • Penn ranked 18th in student activists on campus, or fostering a good environment for these activists, or both. We're not sure. We're pretty sure that Newsweek's not sure either.
  • We're the #10 Greenest college in the whole entire country! So no matter how much the environment's kicked our asses this week, we just won't stop being its clingy girlfriend.
  • Congratulations! You go to the 6th Horniest university. So stop whining about how supposedly ugly your classmates are. You apparently don't care very much anyway.
  • Penn is #4 on the list of Future CEOs. Thanks for carrying us through another ranking, Wharton! Without your persistent efforts, we could've landed ourselves a spot on the Most Free-Spirited list. God forbid.
  • Penn's the 3rd Computer Geekiest school in the nation.
And that's the way the toast crumbles. Feel free to let us know what you think, especially since our existential struggle after the last set of rankings. (Lookin' at you, Philosoraptor.)

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