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News  Published 01/17/11 6:48pm

Penn-In-Touch Me Right Now

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The internet: It's a big, big place. You can shop online, learn online, listen to music online, and now, even find your Penn soulmate online. With PennMatch, the newest social-networking-or-something site, you can find the love of your life. Basically, it works (we think) by using a highly complex algorithm which generates one random male and random female who are part of the Penn Facebook network. Besides the obvious question (Why am I paired with someone who has a Sailor Moon profile picture?), we're wondering a lot of things.

First of all, what is the point of this? Also, who actually took time out of their day to make it? Finally, what's with all of these online crush sites? With CollegeACBSpotted on Locust and Like A Little all floating around on t3h_iNteRweBz, we're getting scared to even go out on campus for fear that someone will sexually harass us from across Rosengarten or drop some trite chem pick-up lines on us. If you like someone, you may want to try to approach them the old-fashioned way. It's hard, we know, but maybe say "Hi!" or engage in conversation? Alright? Now, put on your champion smile and get out there, kiddo! How could anyone not like you?!

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