Attention 2014-ers: New Student Orientation is approaching! It's a well-known fact that Orientation weekend is second-to-none- at least during the Fall semester (sorry, Fling is totes better). Of course, with plenty of things to do, the first few days at Penn are chaotic. But not all school-sponsored events are created equal, so we're here to tell you what's what with the most popular NSO parties.
President and Provost's Welcome and Reception (4:15pm- College Green/Wynn Commons): Skip. There are many things you can do to settle in nicely at Penn. Meet your hall-mates. Organize your room. Get lost on campus. Wait until Convocation for Amy G to tell you that you're Penn's most talented.
College House Meetings (9pm- All over campus): Go. Not only is this mandatory event somewhat entertaining, but this will probably be your first opportunity to get free stuff at Penn.
Penn Library Social (7pm- Van Pelt): Maybe. It might sound really dorky, but it's actually fun, and there are plenty of prizes. Unfortunately, you'll most likely be shoved down a flight of stairs in a wild stampede of your classmates. If you do attend the Library Social, go early before the t-shirts run out!
PennFest 2010 (9pm- Wynn Commons/Houston Hall): Go. There's a lot of food and (Do we have to say it?) FREE STUFF. There are also many activities, like moonbounces and live perfomances.
Philadelphia Museum of Art Party (6:30pm- PMA): GO! Penn's endowment is $5.8 billion. 99% of this is spent on the PMA party. A lavish dinner served on gold plates. Thousands of bottles of Cristal. Countless celebrity appearances. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously- do NOT miss this party!
Speakeasy (10:30pm- Kelly Writers House): Maybe. If you like poetry and live performances, definitely make an appearance! It's more of an intimate event (as compared to the other NSO parties) but it's a nice change from the rowdiness of the weekend.
Penn Athletic Picnic (5pm- Franklin Field): Go. Free dinner and t-shirts! Also, if you bring a shirt from another school, you can trade it in for a Penn one! This is your chance to get rid of the Penn State apparel that your confused relatives got you.
Comedy Night (9 and 11pm- Irvine Auditorium): Go. Penn always brings in comedians that are actually quite funny. There are two shows (depending on what color wristband you have), but they're the same.
Student Organization Fair (10am- Locust Walk): Go. This is the best opportunity to begin getting involved in student groups. Countless organizations are represented, from the Scrabble Club to Penn Model Congress.
Toga Party (9pm- Anthropology Museum): Maybe. Yes, it's in the Anthropology Museum. Yes, there's a lot of crazy dancing. But the idea of the toga party is a bit stale, and this might be a good chance to rest up a little bit, especially if you plan on going out later.
Convocation and Dessert Reception (7 and 8:15pm- College Green/Wynn Commons): GO! Fact: A-Gut will tell you how special you are. Fact: This is one of the few times you'll be with your entire class in one place. Fact: The reception afterwards is totally worth it. SO MANY DESSERTS.
And don't forget that various Penn groups host late-night events Thursday through Sunday nights for those who don't want to go to off-campus parties.