It’s already Wednesday and your outlook for the next couple of days is starting to mimic the eerily dim weather outside. But you know what Wednesday also means? That finals ARE ALMOST OVER! Soon, it’ll officially be summer and you can head home, relax, and enjoy time with family and friends. And from May 27th-30th you’ll be lucky enough to experience a marathon of 100 Disney Channel Original Movies. Remember when Troy Bolton tried to balance his love of basketball and his love of musical theater and his social life all at once??? Relatable, huh.
But we digress. Finals are tough. We read our notes over and over again and nothing sticks. We skip to the answers of our problem sets and say, “Oh, I definitely would have gotten that.” And writing papers requires more dedication than a Hungarian student at Penn rushing Owls. But in a couple of days, you’ll forget the difference between igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary rocks. You’ll forget how to calculate the present value of a perpetuity. You’ll forget stressing about your grades and hopefully realize that finals are a tiny little microscopic thread in the XXL Snuggie that is your life.
Here’s the hard truth: You’ll do well on your exams, you’ll get that paper done, and you’ll think to yourself “why did I stress so much about that?”Read the Full Article
If finals weren't bad enough, filthy water is raining down on Harnwell residents. Six inches of water has flooded the 7th floor and has made its way down to the lobby. Apparently, Harnwell residents are being sent to hotels to avoid the disgusting water. You should pack an umbrella and bean boots if you plan to go there later. Happy finals!
The White House recently announced that Malia Obama will be attending Harvard in 2017, after a gap year. This is great news for nobody, because Harvard is objectively the worst Ivy and hogs all the children of presidents. But it seems like her college plans are definite, so we can't do anything. What don't seem definite, however, are Malia's plans for the gap year – so check out the suggestions we've provided below.
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This year's graduation is going to be a little more exciting than in previous years – and no, not just because of the Commencement speaker.
It has been confirmed that both Joe Biden and Donald Trump will be attending the College's graduation ceremony (Ed. Note: Did you know Tiffany Trump goes to Penn?) – and to top it off, "Penn will not infringe on protestors' freedom of speech." So if your parents aren't already stressing you out enough, now you'll have to navigate protesters on graduation day. Score!
Looking for new ways to procrastinate? Uber is allowing students to order a free pack of cookies to any of the sad study locations found on campus! Be sure to place your order TODAY between the prime hours of 9 p.m. and 12 a.m., but expect lots of buffering – Penn students like good deals.
Which school within Penn do you belong to? We don't know! But you do! See if our quiz can guess the right answer!
It’s the end of the year and even the freshmen are jaded. It can be easy to lose your Quaker spirit when you’re scrambling to finish your dining dollars, making yourself (literally) sick on the food from Commons.
That is why at this time, we’d like to extend a big Thank You to this Hungarian pre-frosh aka Mr. Wharton aka THE IVY MAN. Seeing the enthusiasm of this extremely wealthy baby Quaker brings us back to a better time – one where, we too, drove around announcing our access to higher education.Read the Full Article
Thanks to a UTB tipster, we've unearthed this sketch by Wharton Follies! You might be thinking, "oh what a great commentary that seeks to mock the unfair stereotypes of those poor, oppressed Whartonites." BUT the stereotypes are all too real. If anything, the sketch reinforces the stereotypes, only perpetuating the plight of the Whartonite.
But who cares, because this sketch is hilarious! Take a study break and enjoy.