REPORTER'S NOTEBOOK: In limbo at Penn before going abroad

It is a very strange feeling to be on campus with nothing to do.

It’s about noon on Wednesday, Aug. 26, when I leave my friend’s apartment to meet some other friends for lunch. Locust Walk is unusually crowded for the summer, and most people seem to be wearing backpacks. It takes me until I get to 1920 Commons to realize that it’s the first day of classes.

Well, for most people. But as my peers begin completing their nightly readings and problem sets, I’m getting ready to say goodbye.

I am spending this semester in Paris, living out the dream of studying abroad I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I, and other Penn students studying abroad this semester, are in limbo right now, as we prepare to start our months away from Penn.

College and Engineering junior Katie Wu, who will spend her semester at the University College London, said that it was hard to relate to friends on campus when classes had started. “It feels weird being here while other friends are going to classes because my PenninTouch is like ... empty,” she said.

Still, she said that not having to deal with moving in during NSO afforded her more time to socialize with friends.

While for many, NSO is the start of the year, for me and for Katie, it is our last chance to see our friends on campus until next semester.

“It’s a life-changing experience!” family friends tell me. “A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,” say others.

But nobody prepared me for this bizarre, surreal experience of knowing that while I’m busy living out my “once in a lifetime,” Penn is still here, along with all of my friends, moving on without me. You could call it FOMO, but instead of not getting the joke or missing out on a cool party, your life and your friends’ lives are on opposite sides of the world.

But actually being on campus and not being able to relate to classes or move-in or even New Student Orientation is an entirely different story. Hearing friends talk about what classes they have together is great until somebody asks what you’re taking and the only honest answer you can give them is “I don’t know.” Locust is once again lined with people flyering for shows — only this time, when the show happens, I’ll be almost 4,000 miles away. Standing in the empty room in Rodin that will be mine in January but not seeing my name on the door is up there as one of the saddest but also most bizarre moments of my Penn experience.

For other students who were not on campus during NSO, the experience of being away from Penn while their friends were back was also strange.

College junior Rebecca Brown is spending her fall semester at King’s College London. While Rebecca is on campus as classes begin, she was at home in Pittsburgh, Pa. for NSO. Rebecca was back on campus for a few days after classes started to take a final she needed to make up from the spring semester.

She described the experience of missing NSO as being “very weird,” especially since she was hesitant to go abroad in the first place. “I was never one of those people who always knew they wanted to study abroad, so when I finally decided to do it, I had to mentally prepare to miss out on stuff like NSO,” she said. “I had to tell myself that it probably looked more fun on Facebook than it actually was,” she laughed.

Like Katie and Rebecca, I’m grateful for the small amount of time I’ve been able to spend on campus before I leave for the semester, even though it is a bit strange. It’s afforded me the opportunity to really say goodbye to the people I will miss the most. For some, though, it isn’t possible to make a trip to campus before their semester abroad begins.

College junior Andrea Vargas Guerra, who is doing a health and community program that will take her to four different cities around the world, did not get a chance to visit Penn.

“Being away has been super weird. Watching Snapchats and seeing things on Facebook of NSO stuff is really odd,” she said.

While many study abroad programs have already started, Andrea’s has not. She described feeling like she was “slacking” because her friends have all started coursework and other campus commitments.

I laugh at that, because it’s very true. My only commitments right now are the coffee dates and dinner plans I have made with friends. I don’t even have my backpack with me on campus. I’ve gotten used to stopping to talk to people on Locust and answering the dreaded “how are you?” question with “I’m good!” and maybe babbling about how excited I am to study abroad.

It took me off guard when friends started just waving as they passed me on campus or when the standard answer to “How are you?” once again became “I’m exhausted.”

For a split second, I questioned my decision to leave the Penn bubble. I’m happy here. I have great friends and a wonderful education at my fingertips. I’ve cried more from saying goodbye to friends and family in the past two weeks than I did when I was saying goodbye to my hall at the end of my freshman year — and that’s saying something.

But right now, while everyone else is “exhausted” and “so busy,” I’m still really good and really excited to have my once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Jessica McDowell will be reporting from Paris, France this semester. You can follow her series, Notes From Abroad, where she will report news on the Penn abroad experience.

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