Penn Athletics is p cool. Some would say it's v awesome. I like our athletes. Sorry if we ever upset you, but insane props to you for everything you do. Seriously. This is your world and the rest of us are just paying rent.
Steven Kenneth Darrel Laine Annerd James Henderson McGinnis Kasper Mousecop Billings Clyde Steele XI is a College junior from Nazereth, Puerto Rico and is senior senior sports editor emeritus of The Daily SteelevensylvanIan. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org (yup, still has a Hotmail) or email@example.com. In his spare time, S. K. Darrel enjoys long walks down Locust, McDonald's, competing for the Penn women's swimming team, starring in Disney Channel movies, buying condoms with dining dollars, road-tripping with longtime homies and hiring people named Tom. Unlike his brother, girlfriend and/or father, S. K. Darrel is not proficient with Photoshop, the smarter one in his relationship, bestowed with luscious ginger locks, actually attractive nor still in a relationship with anyone in Chi Omega. Womp. S. K. Darrel has written over 1000 inches for The Daily SteelevensylvanIan over the past three days alone, yet nobody will ever recognize it. In addition to carrying the entire newspaper, S. K. Darrel is an avid fan of the less respectable teams in New York, getting smashed at banquet, avoiding banquet altogether even when he and/or she wins Sports Reporter of the Year, failing to hook up with Penn athletes, Funyuns, kicking ass and taking names during the Kamin Cup two years in a row, Diet Coke, Miles Jackson-Cartwright Facebook conversations, trips to states that are only important during presidential elections, press conferences at Columbia, Good Tidings, Model United Nations conferences of an Ivy League genre, leaving one of our own behind for the NCAA Tournament, photo ops with Athletic Communications and meme-ing old photos of Red and Blue athletes (assuming it doesn't include any reference to the New York Knicks). Just a reminder, he can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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